More breath. Just you and Karl?, I thought about it for a minute, shook my head. KELLY: My conversation this past fall with author Ann Patchett about her latest book "These Precious Days. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. When she came upstairs ready to go she was wearing the black-velvet coat with the peonies on it. Whether all of this together was what helped, or whether she had made up her mind to see only the good, I couldnt say. Sooki worried about her mother, who had been admitted to a hospital near Rye Brook for a urinary tract infection. One thing led to another chief among them, finding out about Raphaels illness and soon, the movie stars longtime assistant had moved into her house. No, its wonderful having her here.. There is Tom Hanks's deceased assistant, Sooki Raphael, protagonist of the title essay that went viral a few months ago when it was published by Harper's, who had gone to Nashville for her . I might have made the choice to let it go unmentioned had there been something else to talk about, maybe his mother or my mother or the spigot that had frozen in the garage. Suffice to say the car I was strapped into followed a tunnel down into dark and darker colors, narrower spaces. Like most of her paintings, the artwork from the exhibition is full of color only a soul eager to see the beauty in every day could translate onto canvas. Read More The Circle (2017) Assistant Sully (2016) . I have to feel like Im contributing. We started looking up articles on the Johns Hopkins website. Except it was Sooki, and I liked her very much.. Later that day we sat side by side on our yoga mats, Sookis head wrapped artfully in a scarf. The trip came together quickly. In the titular essay, Patchett reflects on her serendipitous friendship with Sooki Raphael. Ive had a happy life because of her.. He would tell me how lucky we were, the three of us together. Blind Boys of Alabama with Special Guest TBA. If it hadnt been for the cancer, I never would have come here. All across the country clinical trials were being postponed or abandoned in an attempt to deal with the overflow of patients being treated for COVID-19. I dont want you to feel like you have to stay downstairs, I said. But now she's memorialized in author Ann Patchett's latest book, These Precious Days: Essays, which will be released Nov. 23. Sooki Raphael leaves her canvas as colorful as she has led her life. The months shed lost not being in chemo while they struggled to locate the new tumor had put her perilously behind. People were out with their dogs. She was teaching at Bennington, in Vermont, and this was the first day of classes. , The Amazing Rita Wilson's New Film About Choosing Life; How she beat cancer & Became A Songwriter, 'Hot, Sweaty And Itchy' Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man-- When To Seek Help, 'Miracle Baby Girl' For 29-Year-Old Who Thought Motherhood Would Not Be Possible After Late Stage Cancer Fight, 54-Year-Old's Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apple's Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself, 'World's Sharpest Elbowed' Comedian Vows To Do 'Fabulous' Last Tour As Ovarian Cancer Comes Back, Transthyretin Amyloid Cardiomyopathy (ATTR-CM), Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, opted out of his position as a cornerback. No events scheduled for January 20, 2023. For what? he asked. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. This was what marriage must look like from the other side. Would you feel better about it if I did it with you?, She looked at me. Direct flights to Los Angeles had been suspended, and even if shed wanted to fly to Dallas to wait and see whether the connecting flight would be canceled (because thats what happened now), her weekly blood draws underscored the fact that she scarcely had enough white cells to qualify for chemo, much less protect her from a pandemic while on a commercial flight. And it's such a funny thing. Everything looks so logical going backwardYes, of course, thats what we didbut going forward its something else entirely. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the. The essay, "These Precious Days," chronicles Patchett's meeting with actor Tom Hanks, who was promoting his first book of short stories, Uncommon Type, and had asked Patchett for an endorsement. Ann Patchett and Tom Hanks' assistant? She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before,Patchett wrote. Because if I didnt know that Sooki had a husband, how much did she know about me, about us? Karl was seventy-two. Doug Wendt also lost a loved one to cancer. Pay Nell stayed for six months and we loved her. That led to Patchett's friendship with Sooki Raphael, Hanks' assistant, and Patchett inviting Raphael to live in her home in Nashville while undergoing cancer treatment. I caught an early flight home. She had moved in before the pandemic. I wanted Karls comfort and was glad he wasnt there. Out on the tarmac, I could see her again exactly as she was, resplendent in her velvet coat, her black beret. A few weeks later Hanks' publicist asks if she will fly to Washington, D.C., to interview him as part of his book tour. He holds a kind of medical currency, saved then spent, and when needed, he can marshal all necessary parties into immediate action, bringing them together so fast that whatever needs to happen can happen yesterday. It came out of nowhere, like one of those weird storms that had plagued us in the spring. And the trial at UCLA was canceled because that's what COVID did. But once we had finished that first short practice, she turned to me, blooming. Sooki had gone to work for the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs right out of college. We have some picnic tables outside the police station, the officer said. What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years. There was my grandmother, my father. Actress & Fitness Guru Jane Fonda, 85, Says Chemo Hit Me Hard Fighting Lymphoma Years After Breast Cancer, Rock Band Kiss Co-Founder Peter Criss, 77, Male Breast Cancer Survivor, Releases New Version Of Classic Dirty Livin, For Healthy Skin Month, Take Advice From Vanderpump Rules Star Ariana Madix, a Melanoma Survivor, and Speak Up About Concerns, You Can Overcome, Says Rebecca Crews, 56, How She and Husband Terry Crews Got Through Losing Their Home, Five Kids, And Cancer. I asked her about her trip to Stanford for the biopsy, her flight to Nashville. But over time the idea drifted to the back burner. I tried to imagine chemo while living in a hotel. She helps the poor like Dorothy Day.. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. He said they were running more trials for pancreatic cancer than Sloan Kettering. In Memoriam. There was no reason to offer unsolicited opinions on a subject I knew nothing about to a person who had just gotten into my car, but the thought of a frozen gel pack on my own head struck me as boundless misery. We would all proceed with our lives except that now we would be together. The ones Tom Hanks approved of were handed to me. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. Hell make sure you get everything you need. We are. It may also depend on how you feel about cancer narratives as well as the life-enhancing or -destroying power of what are now politely referred to as psychedelic plants, but which used to be called drugs., Ultimately, though, the story shares its DNA with other essays in the book that focus on Patchetts life as a writer specifically, where and how she gets her material. Now, their friendship lives on in Patchetts latest book which will be released on Tuesday Nov. 23, 2021, entitled These Precious Days: Essays a collection of essays that shares another intimate look at the inner workings of her mind. Or I would have forgotten about it, except that I got a call from Tom Hankss publicist a few weeks later, asking whether I would fly to Washington in October to interview the actor onstage as part of his book tour. The truth was that I had no idea how Sooki was doing, and I had no confidence that she would tell me. Sister Nena stopped for a minute to lock Sooki in her heart. I didnt know what I was supposed to do, she told me later. I was angry at myself. "Let's go back to the hotel. Hey, how are you? I told them that when I was a child, my sister and I would come to the Ryman on Friday and Saturday nights with the man who was then the house doctor at the Opry. Its a wonderful thing to be able to go back to something thats a couple of years old, see the flaws in the fullness of time, and then have the chance to make corrections and polish it up or in some cases, throw the whole thing out and write a better version., A second theme that emerges is the central role women have played in her life, from her sister, mother and grandmother to the nuns who presided over her K-12 education; the largely female staff of her Nashville bookstore, Parnassus Books; and classmates in college and grad school, including the late poet Lucy Grealy, whom she befriended at the Iowa Writers Workshop and later memorialized in Truth and Beauty., 'Reclamation':A Black descendent of Thomas Jefferson brings her ancestors out of the shadows, Not to say she gives short shrift to men. Hows the painting coming? I would ask. He wanted to know whether I liked owning a bookstore. I wouldnt. A post shared by Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist), What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years, feelings that were just waiting to explode, the post read. Its not too much. Its why I dont like to go to other peoples houses for dinner: I never want to tell people Im a vegetarian. She has children. Shed fallen down some stairs outside of church the night before and twisted her foot and now that foot was swollen and sore. Theres usually a guy working the light board and the mics who talks to me for a minute, though tonight the guy talking was Tom Hanks. Sookis two sisters, one in Connecticut and one in Massachusetts, could meet them there, a family reunion at the airport. This was the closest I could come to understanding what happened to Sooki. I was grateful for both of those things. Sooki sheltered-in-place with Patchett and her husband first coming to stay . The story has started without my realizing it. Or I should say the boundaries you think are there tend to fall away. Youve been so nice, but you didnt sign on for this. She stood in the kitchen, holding her cup of ginger tea. The second time they came because Rita was singing at the Grand Ole Opry. Karl said she should send him her records if she wanted to, and that he would talk to Johanna Bendell, an oncologist at the hospital where he works. Forget that. Patchett's good-hearted nature is on full display in the title essay of her new book, a portrait of her friend Sooki Raphael, the personal assistant of Tom Hanks. He was in Nashville. I went to Virginia to see my friend Rene Fleming in concert. . No, not Chekhov or Dickens or her one-time hero, Updike. But this was right, and we would all be fine. 2023 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC. I would love to stay with you for my first night or two in Nashvilleit would be wonderful to spend some time with you. When it was over, I managed to make my way into the shower, perhaps the biggest single accomplishment of my life. Westchester was still a pandemic hot spot and there could be no congregating, even outside. Raphael turned to art during a tumultuous time in her life and created works that will continue to be enjoyed long after her passing. The phone had been turned in to airport security. A minute later everyone was on the plane and gone. Farley announced the news of his opt-out in an Instagram video saying, in part, I cannot afford to lose another parent or loved one Though the competitor in me badly wants to play this season, I cannot ignore whats going on in my heart, and I must make the decision that brings me the most peace., 2021 NFL Draft Prospect Caleb Farley Tells SurvivorNet His Mom Was Like a Superhero Before She Lost Her Battle with Breast Cancer; Heres What Got Him Through. Sparky Considers a Squirrel, Nashville 2020. She was right here, Karl said. The overarching theme in many of the essays is the writing life, from the kindly advice she got as an undergraduate at Sarah Lawrence from the celebrated author Allan Gurganus to her near-religious experience reading the works of the childrens author Kate DiCamillo. (These Precious Dayshas a portrait by her of Patchetts dog Sparky on the cover). I sent more books: books Id written, books I thought shed like, Kate DiCamillo books to be read with her grandchildren. The next morning, we went to the bookstore early and picked out presents for everyone in her family. All the messages were about Tom and Rita. She painted. We talked and then we didnt. In the twenty-six years that Karl and I had been together, Id never had the experience of coming home to dinner being made. I walked from my hotel to the theater and showed my ID to a guard who then led me to the crowded greenroom. So happy to be the connector of good things. No outfit ever showed up twice. Raphael passed peacefully on April 25. Whats fascinating fails to translate. MRIs! I think about you often and hope for the best. On the Trail of a Mountain Lion The footprint was in the middle of the trail. By the time the playlist had reached Tristan and Isolde, my skull was a horses skull, dry and white and empty. Marriage also meant that I would listen if he tried to talk me out of it. It was just me in the house. Karl went to talk to the pilots about the plane and Sooki and I sat in the little waiting area. How was that possible? We were ready. No events scheduled for January 18, 2023. I did a Pilates DVD we never got around to. This is a great read. I was already years ahead of myself, thinking of all the good Tom Hanks could do for independent bookstores. Coping after the loss of a loved one to cancer is never going to be an easy journey. And I'm always taken aback because it feels a little like asking a parent, who's your favorite child? Kate DiCamillo is coming later on Wednesday. But I cant just live with you and Karl for the rest of my life.. How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, [] They would stop each way to refuel in West Virginia. Look at this.. Karl worked out the plans. I waited but nothing came next. I wanted to go to bed and read. There was no more walking to a class in the dark of morningeverything was closedand so I asked her if she wanted to exercise with me. I had been afraid of how the story would end. Were they awake and choosing not to come to the basement? She wanted to know what constituted being a good houseguest during a tornado. At the heart of her new collection is a 66-page story about her transformational late-in-life friendship with Sooki Raphael, an artist and the longtime assistant to actor Tom Hanks. Of course I opted for tattoos. She certainly isnt short of abundant care for others, and by the time you get to the end of this collection its hard not to feel glad she saved her energy for writing. And despite the fact that cancer has essentially been her whole life, Cuozzo has recognized herself as a lot more than a diagnosis by focusing on her life as a mother and an artist. Many were introduced to Sooki Raphael through Ann Patchett's book, "These Precious Days" There Sooki's grace, creativity and strength were immortalized though Ann's words. I am now sitting at the airport waiting to catch a plane to my next opinion, at Sloan Kettering in NY. Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. To the best of my knowledge, she never quit. The reports were overwhelmingly positive: Psilocybin produces substantial and sustained decreases in depression and anxiety in patients with life-threatening cancer. I was taking in every precious day. She wasnt just her illness. That was what we had to hold on to, and so we held on. We hugged, and I hefted her enormous suitcase into the hatchback. Wed stood together in the dark of a Washington theater for a matter of minutes a year and a half earlier. Should I have woken them up and made them come down to the basement? (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. She was there and then she was gone and we wouldnt see her again until the next morning. Are you okay? I asked. Her best friends lost everything in that fire. I came back from Virginia and took Sooki to see the daffodils at the botanical garden, but we were too early. Stranded at home, Karl studied to get his instrument rating as a pilot. My husband, Ken, will come down for at least part of the time, once Ive started chemo, and I may have other visitors, so I think I will explore some other options in the area, but I cant tell you how touched I am that youve extended the offer. I really could call once, and I wanted to call her after dinner. They were lucky to get up in the morning to fly across the country so Sooki could have a pancreaticoduodenectomy, also known as a Whipple procedure. I find these things go better if you just wing it. Then the two of us stepped out into the blinding light. In return, she sent me pictures shed taken of Los Angeles, a woman in an orange sari sailing past a city bus on a bicycle. She said she didnt know what she was going to do. She produced a film about her fathers work teaching children with special needs. The water in the creek a block away skimmed the bottom of the footbridge. What happens if I fall down the stairs? I wrote and she painted and then we made dinner. She owned beauty because she was beauty, and so she could express it on canvass, or in an email to a friend, or in a prayer to the sun.. The only other option was to go with stickers which could shift or come off in the shower. Where I was going was death. You should have planned for the financial fallout of having pancreatic cancer twice?. But in her post, Wilson referred to her as the one thing she was destined to be: an artist. We danced. And then one night, for reasons I cannot imagine, we decided to do it all again before we went to sleep. After her first round of cancer, while she recovered from the Whipple and endured the FOLFIRINOX, she started to paint like someone who had never stopped. How could I not have known? Forgot your password? Click here to dismiss this module permanently. I worried, and thought it was not my place to ask. Sooki Raphael is an artist. Unlike so many other small businesses, we had the means to pivot. I try to keep all the parts of my life separate.. So there she was, stuck with us. Such a beautiful coat, I said to her. I had to listen to what she was telling me. Most recently, she had a solo exhibition of paintings at ROSEGALLERY called These Precious Days, just like Patchetts title essay. Theyd fallen on the mailboxes. Sooki washed her sheets and towels, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed. Pay attention, I told myself. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. My goal was to maintain neutrality. It becomes a path into the woods. My friend told us we should wear eye masks and cover ourselves with blankets. Sooki left for yoga just as the waitress was bringing our eggs. He watched as she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy while still working and taking care of her family. Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. . A weekly email taking aim at the relentless absurdity of the 24-hour news cycle. When was she first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer? I shook my head. Curiosity is the rock upon which fiction is built.". We talked about singing and touring and about the Opry. Karl found a giant bright-blue tarp in the garage and Sooki spread it over the floor and table downstairs, setting herself up to paint. She would pour color into my inbox for a while and then be gone again. I didnt want to get stuck in Auckland, but if flights were canceled and I was stranded in Tulsa, Karl could always come and get me. But the doctors say, as they expected, the cancer is back, and they are ready to start up chemo again. Karls friend Dr.Bendell knew Sookis oncologist at UCLA and her oncologist at Stanford and her surgeon at Duke. All this time Id been afraid of prying, only to discover that Sooki was happy to talk, to tell me about the bats, the sailboat to St.Barts, the desert in Tan-Tan, the surgery. Her love and passion and beauty will continue to live in her paintings, and in all of us who were privileged to have entered her world. We breathed deeply and flexed our spines. Yoga was Sookis necessary social hour, and what I got in return was time with Sooki. Other doctors are quick to do him favors because hes done so many for them. She liked herself again. While other people were left to worry about a virus that may or may not have been coming for them, I worried about Sooki. A plane? You all did a book event. How do you get back on the plane to come home? And I want you to explain why that felt easier to write during a pandemic than fiction. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. This was what I knew about Sooki: She lived in Los Angeles. Its important to think about your intentions before you start, my friend told us. The park was packed this morning. Like, I really understand that I'm going to die, but I don't want the whole novel to be wiped out. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes. The title piece in the autobiographical essay collection These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is about her unexpected friendship with Tom Hanks's personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, who ended up living with Patchett and her husband in Nashville while enrolled in a medical trial for pancreatic cancer. The wind was coming down the street like a train. Tom Hanks needs a favor? Spanish for straight, direct. I didnt know how old she was, I couldnt remember her face, but there have been few moments in my life when I have felt so certain: I was supposed to help. My blue torso, the mold made on the day I came in for my fitting and tattoos, is already on the radiation bed and I need to bare my abdomen and slide onto the table so they can line up the laser beams with all my tattoos and red-sharpie xs before they cover me with a warmed flannel sheet. One of the last things I understand when Im putting a novel together is the structure of time. Sooki Raphael leaves her canvas as colorful as she has led her life. And she couldn't fly because the flights were canceled. Nothing. I flew back to New York for two more events, the first one in Connecticut. Please sign in to save videos. Sooki Raphael, Mesa Tree, Topanga, from 'Vivid Series' 16 x 20 inches. Old habits. She painted as fast as she could get her canvases prepped, berating herself for falling asleep in the afternoons. Those she won. She lugged her suitcase out to the car without my knowing it. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves, writes Patchett. Sookis mother lived two miles from the Westchester airport. we asked. I have to know where Im going, otherwise I spend my days walking in circles. FOLFIRINOX had also given her a profound aversion to cold. Sooki told me about evacuating for wildfires in the canyon where they lived in Los Angeles, a year and a half earlier, the night before she was scheduled to fly to North Carolina to have surgery. Sooki left messages for the doctors and put her phone at the end of her yoga mat, waiting for the call back while we practiced. From her patio, she could watch the planes take off and land. The most important human qualities were being applied to this form. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. For a time, the mother in this novel went to India to work for Mother Teresa. And you will be surprised by how comforting it is to be very sick with an actual doctor upstairs. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. 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